A Brief Review of Tenets of Casual Dating

PART ONE

Photo borrowed from an Elle article on Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux from Blue is the Warmest Color.

I dedicate this post to those who brave the tumultuous world of modern dating. Particularly those inhabiting a couples-centric city like Portland. I’m surrounded by happily committed duos. I get it. I mean, it’s cold outside. It’s hard to get dressed and get on your bike or flash your Car 2 Go VIP badge and travel beyond your neighborhood dive bar (“You want me to go to SE?! But I live in Woodlawn.”). All for the simple possibility of having more than 17 minutes of forced conversation with someone. As the designated single girl amidst my friend circle, and after various bouts of romantic mingling over the last two years, I present a brief collection of tenets to casual dating.

1.) On the first rendezvous, commit only to a drink, preferably starting after the hour of 7:30 PM. I’m going to be so bold as to say this rule follows for a second-and maybe even a third-hang out (providing you get even this far). In the world of dating, there are few things worse than committing to dinner or dinner and a movie or dinner and a movie and a post movie walk simply to realize mid way you wished you hadn’t. Googling "topics of conversation" won't alleviate the pain. Also: I never meet during the daytime on the first encounter. It is much harder to cut things short or flee the scene in the broad, albeit filtered, light of day.

2.) Try hard not to be more than 15 minutes late*, unless you are desperately trying to appear callous and unaware, which only has so much charm (depending on the individual, about 1-3 dates worth). Confession: I am a perpetually late person who was a miserable 45 minutes en retard to my first official date with my lovely ex-girlfriend. I’ve since tried to change my ways.

3.) Dress up: at least make an effort with one item of clothing. I know you really love your favorite flannel that is worn in just perfectly and the beanie you always wear to get coffee, but, c’mon. It is never a bad thing to look like you are elevating your game at least a little bit to meet a new person.

Image originates from Prada's Spring-Summer 2014, photographed by Steven Meisel. 

4.) I rarely demand exclusivity. On the contrary, the very whisper of the word makes me want to run for the hills, or more specifically, Forest Park followed by a Bourbon Renewal at Clyde Common. But, the one thing I do demand is exclusivity while in my physical presence. If you’re so smitten with someone else, politely excuse yourself and at least meet him or her in the fucking bathroom for a mid-concert make out session. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?! Well, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, don’t admit this happened to anyone and don’t let it happen ever again.